It's Been Awhile

I mean to get on here all the time and blog yet the hours fly by and time just eludes me these days. We just got home from a vacation to Siesta Key Florida and Disney World. We had such a great time. The kids did great minus the plane rides. We ran them ragged and they just went along for the ride.
I love my kids. They are all so different. I have learned that there is only so much you can cultivate in them. We have raised all of our kids exactly the same, yet their personalities are all so entirely different. Let's look at them for a minute.
Morgan-she's our oldest. She fits the stereotype for the oldest too. She's independent, wants to be a lot bigger than she is (and thinks she is) yet she's insecure. It seems a little contradictory, but I have seen this actually often play out in many adults. The loner types tend to be that way because really they are insecure and now I see that playing out in my daughter. So, we are trying to nurture her independence while building her up to rid her of the insecurity that's in her. She's such a tom boy and loves to play sports and can't wait to play them when she gets bigger.
Then there is Levi, our 3 yr old. He's entirely too sweet. He likes to talk about things in terms of his feelings. I tell him all the time that he's going to make a woman so happy because he's so sensitive and not afraid to talk about how he feels. He's a little charmer and likes to go out of his way to make people smile. His facial expressions are to die for and I get more hugs and kisses and I love you's from him than everyone in my house put together. He is not at all independent, he relies entirely too much on Morgan and cares very much about what she and only she thinks about him. He asks her questions everyday that affirm who he is. I have had to talk to Morgan about the importance of building Levi up. He's biggest flaw is he's lazy and we're trying really hard to work with him now to rid that out of him.
Then we have Matt, our almost 2 year old. That kid is 100% boy. You'll always find him either with a car in his hand or food. He eats more than Morgan and Levi combined. When I can't find him, I know that he's sitting in the pantry eating. He is a loner. I still can't tell if this is due to the fact that my older two are so close and he feels left out or if he really just doesn't care. He and Levi have been getting a lot closer recently however and it's really good to see. Ryan always says that Matt is going to be the man's man, the man that he wishes he was.
Then Luci, our 9 month old. She's the first baby we've had that didn't want rocked to sleep. She's a just lay me down and leave me alone type girl. She thinks she is big and can do the things that the older kids do. Nothing stops this kid and it makes me a little nervous! She can't verbally communicate yet, however she does "yell" to get your attention and is always yelling at the kids. It's actually really funny. She hates being held and prefers to be left on her own to motor ar the house. Nothing stops this kid.
The best part of having my kids is that they have all been tools of santification for me. The Christian life calls us to die to ourselves and having as many kids as I do as young as they are, I have really learned what dying to self truly means. I thought I got it before, but as our family grows, I die a little more. I am forced to think outside of myself continuously and I am forced to rely on God to provide all the things that we need to make it through each day. It's been a humbling process and as I recently saw the two lines appear on the pregnancy test, I was humbled again that He trusts us enough to give us another one. Even though this is baby #5 for us, the awe of it never wears off. The thankfulness never grows cold. The joy gets bigger than I imagined and the love for this baby is as big as it was for the first one.